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The fate of my divorced parents wedding silver

Get the best of the magazine’s award-winning stories and features right in your e-mail inbox every Sunday. Sign up here. My parents’ wedding silver has lain formal and quiet in an oak box for more than 68 years, so I’m baffled that the prospect of selling it makes me feel untethered. We did not have lovely family meals at a table set with those utensils, but rather rowdy repasts with everyday flatware. In fact, my parents divorced decades ago. A year after the split, my father remarried and walked in the door of his new family home without any gifts from his first wedding. I don’t know what Emily Post would have said, but if nothing about the situation felt natural to my siblings or new stepsiblings, the fact that my parents’ wedding silver stayed with my mother did, even if we never used it. In 1922, Post wrote with conviction, “If the great world of society were a university ... the magna cum laude honors would be awarded, without question, not to the hostess who may have given the most marvelous ball of the decade, but to her who knows best every component detail of preparation and service, no less than every inexorable rule of etiquette, in formal dinner-giving.” A wedding present of silver was still expected in 1949, when my parents wed, long before most things matrimonial were solved online. After the boys came home from World War II, whether a guest could afford only a single fork or spoon or a whole place setting, silver was a symbol of a secure and plentiful life.

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